Pee-pee, panty hose and the freight train………a morning musing

Ok so after the long day that we had yesterday I could hardly wait to fall into to be. I had only been a sleep for a couple of hours when the loud sound of a freight train rushed threw our bed room. I laid there for a minute wondering what the hell was going on. When I finally got my wits about me, I realized that the damn train was my darling other half. I pushed, I poked, and I huffed. Nothing that I did would make the large animal sleeping soundly beside me quiet. After a few minutes I finally yelled turn over! The silence was brief. Then the damn train came rumbling threw again.

While I lay there listening to the roar and wishing I could sleep out on the swing. I thought about the dozens of pairs of pantyhose sitting on a shelf in my closet and realized that I definitely had a new use for them. Stuffing, yes stuffing! If I took a pair of them and stuffed them in his mouth that would quiet the constant roaring and I could finally get some sleep. I thought about how many pairs it would take to silence that train. I could easily take one or two pairs and stuff them in his mouth. That would definitely quiet that awful sound that was keeping me awake and I’d be recycling too.

I think I finally got to sleep about 3:00 am. I know that I hadn’t been a sleep for long when the freight train conductor woke me letting me know I needed to get up. I whimpered, I cried, I pleaded. Please, please let me have 5 more minutes! Still that damn conductor would not relent. He kept talking and nagging and I wondered why I hadn’t stuffed those pantyhose in his mouth and wanted to even more desperately now.

You see I have to get my grandson Jo Jo up for school. I have to get him fed, put his braces on and give him a breathing treatment. All before the handicapped bus gets here at 7:00 am. Then if I want a shower I have to get up, get showered and have my ass dressed no later than 6:30 am. So up I got, still wondering if it wasn’t a better idea to use those same panty hose to tie the conductor up and throw stinky diapers at him till I felt better. If I’m gonna feel bad so should he. Besides he got a good night sleep.

But anyway; I did manage to get going and even got Jo Jo out the door on time despite wearing Pediasure and pee pee all over my clean shirt. Ok ok so the bus was late. If it hadn’t been late then I would have had to drive him to school. The point is I did manage to get him out the door and off to school without too much drama. Or so I thought.

After the bus left I came back in the house to make a cup of coffee. You guessed it no coffee. I started stomping around the kitchen and cussing under my breath (ok your right it was out loud and I mean real loud). Just when I thought the start of this day couldn’t get any worse, I heard the screams of my other grandson, Eli. I ran to his room only to discover that he had pee peed in his bed. As his tears and screams got louder and louder I found out that the bear and peed the bed not him. Standing there I couldn’t help wonder………..where are those pantyhose?

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