The biggest baby blues……….. Or shouldn’t it be legal to choke a grown man?

Ok since Friday I haven’t really been on my site or trying to make money. The DGB’s (darling grand babies) have shared there bug with me and DH (darling hubby). It hasn’t been pretty. Just when you think it’s safe to go back in the water, the sharks start circling your life boat, and Bam! This shit hit’s you like a ton of brick’s. (Ok no pun intended) It’s sad to see a baby so sick. Especially when they can’t really tell you what’s wrong. But have you ever had to deal with a grown man sick especially when you’re sick too. Dealing with a grown man sick is like trying to reason with cannibals. No matter what you say or do your still gonna be on the menu.

DH got sick on Wednesday and came home from work. You’d thought that he was the only person that had ever been sick. He whined, he pouted, and he complained and was an all out a pain in the ass. He grumbled like a big ole teddy bear. He wanted to be babied, then he didn’t, then he was hungry, then it didn’t taste good. Have you ever noticed that when men get sick they think no one has ever felt as bad as they do? Everyone and everything has to come to a halt and jump. DH was atrocious and I just wanted to put my hands around his throat and squeeze. I was starting to have fantasies of choking him till his eyes bugged out of his head. You know, like those cartoons. I asked him if he needed a little cheese with that whine, but he didn’t either get it or hear me. It’s woo is me I’m sick feel sorry for me……waaaaaaaaa

We were both sick and yet you’d thought that he was far sicker than me. He felt like he was going to throw up and I was actually throwing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah he had diarrhea like I didn’t. I was sitting on the throne with a trash can in front of me, puking my guts out. Not to mention that every time I coughed I peed myself. (That happens when you get older) So I went through about a dozen pairs of panties. Then the smell would make me sick to my stomach and of course I’d puke. It was a vicious cycle. DH on the other hand just felt like he was gonna up chuck and he had every one running and babying his whiny self.

Not that DH is such a bad guy, he’s a wonderful guy. He can’t look at blood without feeling faint. He can’t even be around a baby with a shitty diaper. His gag reflex kicks in and you guessed it he starts to heave. How can such a big tough guy be such a wus. Anything that has to do with poop, puke, or blood he’s useless. I don’t understand what’s up with all this. Yet he hunts dear guts them etc…, yet he can’t change a shitty diaper or even be in the same room. He can’t help with a cut finger, yet he shoots dear and watches them bleed. I smell something fishy going on with all this. Speaking of fishy he fishes and dead fish smells a whole lot worse than a shitty diaper.

Is this just a guy thing? Is it in the same category as putting the toilet seat up? Well at least we have that one taken care of. When we first started living together I screamed and screamed about putting down the toilet seat. Well very late one night I hit water. We all know or can imagine how that felt at 3:00 in the morning. I screamed and he fell out of bed. (Did I mention that our bed is 3 feet off the floor?) Well all 300 lbs hit the floor without him even realizing what happened. He came running and discovered that I had hit water. Needless to say it scared him so bad that he never left the seat up again. Not to mention he was sore for a week from the fall……..

So I ask you, who’s the bigger baby, DGS’s who are too young to really vocalize how they feel or DH who whines more than any 2 year old? I think the 300 pound one is the bigger baby. In more ways than one………..just sign me too many big babies for this Nana.

No comments: