It's anti procrastination day or I'll do it tomorrow when I’m perfect………..

OK so I know I need to get going. I’m tired and can’t seem to get anything done. Yes I did have a meeting this morning with someone to see about getting help for the DGS (darling grandson), and yes I’ve been up since 6:00. Still other than changing about a million diapers and given DGS a whole bunch of Pediasure and of course getting them both dressed. I really haven't done much today. I know in my mind that I need to be working on my morning routine, and I need to keep my sink shiny, and I need to work on my zone for this week, butttttttttt it feels like every time I get one foot out of the pig pen I fall right back on my ass in all the crap. Why do the words of my mother haunt me, “if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all”. Why am I afraid to succeed? Oh and best of all why do I feel the need to be and do everything perfectly.

We as women think it’s up to us to do everything just so perfectly. We get mad when we have to ask for help and mad when we get it. We get even madder when we don’t get the help or they do it wrong. For whatever reason we think we have to do it all. Be the perfect wife, mother, cook and employee. Where’s it written that we’re the ones that have to be the main care giver? Who said that since we carry a baby in our bodies for nine months that makes us responsible for them for all eternity? Who said it was my responsibility to make sure that the meals are cooked, babies are changed, floors are shiny and cover the phones for some whinny little sex pot that’s never had a stretch mark in her life? Ok so I went a little off the beaten path…..But you know what I mean. Seems that as soon as you have a baby or put that damn ring on your finger then life as they know it is up to you.

Ok so now you know my secret. I’m a S.H.E. sidetracked home executive. . For all my life I’ve been battling to get it together. I suffer profoundly from CHAOS (can’t have anyone over syndrome) oh yes when you come to my house you see it looks so nice and tidy. What you don’t know is the laundry’s over flowing, I just swept this morning before you came by and no I don’t close all the doors to conserve energy, and if you open that coat closet you better be prepared to catch an avalanche of stuff that’s gonna fall on you.

You know I thought that by this time in my life I’d be so organized you could eat off any floor in my house. That when company came over there’d always be something wonderful smelling just freshly baked. I could finally go to bed when I wanted and not get up till I wanted either. When I put something down I wouldn’t have to worry about it getting messed up. But mostly I could go to the bathroom by myself and be the only one eating off my plate. I thought the house fairy would finally grant me my 3 wishes. 1. A clean and organized house. 2. A happy and fulfilled life. 3. A peaceful and quiet existence. Yeah like dream on fat chance. As if that’s gonna happen. Like maybe when I get a J Lo butt.

So for now I’ll just keep trying to FLY (finally loving yourself).
I’ll love up these DGB’s, wipe up the peanut butter, and keep a clear path to refrigerator and bathroom. I’ll make that wish on the shooting star to finally be perfect……..

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