Dancing with the stars and the redneck

Yep…….... this is the 7th year DH and I have watched Dancing with the stars and I must say it’s funny to see that big ole redneck judging the celebrities on there dancing technique. He cracks me up. He can tell you when they screw up and how. He shouts the scores at the televise screen like he’s watching a football game. Of course he never watches football. I have to laugh when he informs me that Lenny won’t like that dance or that Mary Anne is too soft. Or when he very loudly proclaims that they did a lift, and he’s quickly rewarded with Mary Anne scolding whoever for it. He never plans anything around his Dancing with the stars and even records it while he watches it so he can rewind it to show me how good or bad the stars were. He comments on there makeup, clothes or lack there of. The content of there routines and how they compare to the previous Dancing with the stars cast members. He compares each dancers new partners with there previous partners and God only knows how he remembers all those dances.

Now you have to understand that wouldn’t be funny except that DH (darling husband) is the biggest redneck you’ve ever seen. His favorite past times are hunting, fishing, camping, 4 wheeling, shooting at anything that moves, just plain ole guy stuff. You’d never catch him in a suite unless there’s a funeral. He’s had the same pair of dress shoes for 20+ years. He farts in public, belches on queue, and wouldn’t know what a finger bowl was if you hit him over the head with it. He’d rather have Coors Lite than red wine. He’s never owned any kind of shirt that wasn’t made of flannel. He loves to go out in the woods and commune with nature. You know he goes out and sits on a hunting blind and snores till a deer comes running by. He loves puppies and kittens and soft fuzzy things and of course me. He looks like Grizzly Adams, and is just a big. His favorite hat has a fishing hook in it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I adore him. He’s the kindest man I’ve ever known. He loves my kids as if they were his own. He takes great care of me. Is good to my sisters and would do anything in the world for anyone in need. He’d give you the shirt off his back and his last bite of food. He thinks that I am the most beautiful woman God ever put on this earth. (That should earn him some brownie points.) He’s kind to his mother, never yells, does the dishes, but I can’t get him to remember to take out the trash. He rescues hurt animals, holds crying babies and sings off key.

But I have to say that I learned that I loved this big ole redneck more than ever last night when we were watching Dancing with the stars and Julianne Huff was dancing in some skimpy little pants outfit. He was just sitting there and all of the sudden he yelled,” of my god look what that child has on. I can see her bum right threw those pants. She’s just a child and look, Oh my god I can’t look.” His face was 10 shades of red. He kept babbling that she was just a baby and that he couldn’t look. Most guys, and you know who they are, would have been ogling at the site of a young woman’s behind. Not my DH. He was ashamed for her and at himself for even looking at her. I tell you that I laughed till I cried. Here is this big ole redneck mans man, getting embarrassed at the site of some young woman’s bum showing threw her clothes’. You know I get irritated at him a lot and some days I’d love to pinch his head off and tell god he died, but you know when push comes to shove I’ll just keep him……….…The big ole redneck dancer wanna be.

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