It's rough being fat

Dear Friends,
      Have you ever had one of those days where you just should have stayed in bed.  Well today was one of those days.  You know your really too fat when you favorite pair of sexy thong underwear go ka-poot.  Today my I had to say good bye to the last thing I have that is sexy.  My favorite pair of undies lost there elastic.
     Imagine you go to the rest room and go to pull up your undies, let loose and they fall back down around your ankles.  Yeap you heard me, they fell back down to my ankles.  I couldn't believe it.  I'm too fat for even my underwear.  They have had it with my fat back side too. 

     You know I can't  bear the fact that I'm so fat that I have to wear grand-ma underwear.  You know, those panties that cover everything except your ankles.  I can remember seeing my grandmothers underwear hanging on the clothes line and thinking they looked like sails from a boat. Hold the presses I'm wearing boat sails for underwear.  Shiver me timbers and don't blow up my shorts. I could sail around the world with spare sails up my dress. 
     Well boat loads of kisses... till the next windy day............The Mad Blonde AKA  the large one.